“This magic moment
So different and so new
Was like any other
Until I kissed you
And then it happened
It took me by surprise”
I’m going to tell you something that I was told before becoming a parent for the first time. It’s pretty cool, and it happens to every single one of us. It’s something I have told other soon-to-be-first-time-parents as well. I guarantee you will shrug it off as something you believe you know already. That is, unless you are a parent already too. If that’s the case then feel free to nod along and give a silent knowing smirk. I know for a fact you’ll brush it off because that’s exactly what I did, and because it’s what every single other person I told did as well. They all do, at least until after their child is born. Then every one (with out exception) comes back to me and say “Jeez, Mary, you were totally right. I just couldn’t realize it until now.”
OK, so here it is. Read carefully:
When your first child is born and you touch it for the first time there is actually a whole other compartment of your heart, one that you didn’t even know existed, that opens up. You physically feel it happening. You gain a whole other type of love for someone than you have ever felt before. It’s a mix of ownership and total self sacrifice. You look at this little complete, vulnerable person that is all yours. You realize you would do anything for them; you will lay down your life without a moment’s hesitation. You love this tiny thing more than you love your family or your partner (don’t worry, they should feel the same way and in that way your bond becomes stronger). Maybe “more” is the wrong word, maybe differently would fit better(?). I still want to say “more” though because there really is no perfect word for the sensation you will have. It is completely overwhelming. Your heart actually grows and works with a fully different perspective than ever before.
Now some of you are saying, “I already know this. I’ve got nieces and nephews.” Or “I’ve taken care of other’s children as if they were my own.” Nope, that’s not the same as becoming a parent. I have no doubt that you love those kids with all your heart and soul. However, it is different; and that’s a fact.
Also a really cool and funky part is that it works with each child you have. Your heart just gets bigger and bigger. With my second pregnancy I had a hormonal freak out moment that I wouldn’t be able to love this one as much as the first. For exactly that reason, she was my “first”, because she was my first for all these new emotions I didn’t think I could do it all the same again. This being my second it was going to be nothing new and therefore not as special. I was wrong. You’ll be glad to know that’s not the case in any way either. Your heart is amazingly well adapted to growth. Every child is completely different and totally new in it’s own way. It seems to me that there is a compartment shut off and quietly waiting in our hearts for each new member of the family to arrive. And then BAM! it blows wide open every time.
Now, all of the “experienced” parents out there can stop nodding, or getting teary eyed. I know I do, every time I say this to someone. It’s like there’s an exclusive parenthood club that you have to know the secret to get in to. We’ll be waiting to welcome you intended parent “newbies” in with open arms once you get it. It’ll be mind-blowing-ly amazing, trust us.
So off you go now saying “Yeah, yeah, yeah”. I’ll be waiting here to hear all about it from you later. 😉